


pretend

by pxrcival



Category: Left 4 Dead 2
Genre: M/M, Please Forgive me, this is literally the worst thing i have ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-23
Updated: 2014-01-23
Packaged: 2018-01-09 19:24:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1149870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pxrcival/pseuds/pxrcival
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>nick and ellis get trapped in a small room together and nick makes a promise (except it wasnt really a promise at all)</p><p>edit: this isnt rly proof-read? i only briefly checked it for errors so if there are any then. oops sorry</p>
            </blockquote>





	pretend

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry

For what Nick swore must’ve been the millionth time that night, Ellis whimpered. 

Suppressing a sigh, the conman ground his teeth together and forced himself to resist the idea of reaching over and knocking the hick out. The night seemed to get longer and longer as time went on, and he didn’t need Ellis doing his best injured puppy impression in his ear every time there was any kind of noise near them.

They’d been stuck in the tiny room for at least a few hours now - after losing all their ammo and becoming separated from Coach and Rochelle, they had been forced into hiding, and the pair were well aware that if even just one of the Infected found them, it’d make a racket trying to get through the (unfortunately) wooden door, and then there would be more - even Ellis, usually the optimist, had to admit that a battered baseball bat wouldn’t hold off a hoard.

So they waited. And it was hell.

Truthfully, Nick liked to think he was a patient man. He’d held out like this many times before in situations that were too similar for him to remember comfortably, bar the whole…zombie thing, and the trait generally came with gambling. But even he couldn’t take being shut in a too-small room with the most talkative southerner in the world, and the fact he really just wouldn’t shut up made it worse. Nick did everything he could to distract himself, from examining the white walls to actually covering his ears with his hands. Between the whines and flinches, Ellis babbled on in hushed tones about shit Nick really couldn’t care less about, and after three hours or so of trying fruitlessly to block him out, he snapped.

“Would you please just shut the fuck up for five god damn minutes?”

When there was no response to his outburst, Nick continued, his voice laced with aggression.

“In case you hadn’t noticed after two whole weeks of fighting these bastards, they’re attracted to sound – and you know what you’re making a lot of right now? Noise!” He paused again, searching for a reaction on the younger man’s face, but once more he found nothing but a kind of uneasy surprise. Irritation pricked at him, and he knew that he was wasting breath on Ellis, but his own stubbornness wouldn’t let him drop it. So he carried on.

“Also, quit it with the fucking whimpering. It’s like you’re a toddler, and I’m the unlucky bastard that has to babysit you. You aren’t a kid anymore, damn it!”

He was panting lightly when he finished, and too late he realized he’d been shouting the last few words. Trust Ellis and his stupid fucking complacency to goad him into getting them both killed.

“Aw fuck, Nick, yuh sure have dropped us in it now!” A wave of disbelief rolled over the gambler – sure, he knew Ellis could take some shit, but holy fuck. It was like he’d never even said anything. Glancing over, he caught sight of that trademark dumbshit grin, and with a twinge of frustration, Nick was once again reminded that he still really wanted to punch him. Instead, he settled for spitting out a reply.

“I’m going to strangle you and use your body as bait.” 

Behind them, the pounding increased, and he could feel his heart rate rise with it. He could tell Ellis was stifling a whimper beside him, and eventually they fell silent, waiting for the thing to either give up or for it to burst in and eat them both alive. The moans and groans from the infected sent chills down his spine, and suddenly he wondered if he missed the southerner’s stories. A few nanoseconds of thought told him, no, he didn’t. Even certain death was better than hearing “Keith this, Keith that…” every two goddamn seconds. 

Somewhere along the line, Nick felt Ellis shift closer to him, and he reached a hand up to push him away – but then he figured Ellis probably wouldn’t take the motion happily, and they’d probably just end up making more noise. And then the zombie would know they were in there. And it’d call along some zombie friends. And then they would be even more fucked. So he glared at the floor and forced himself to stay put, trying to ignore the warm body almost pressed against his side. 

More time passed, and the thudding just got louder and louder, now with the occasional scratching noise. The door couldn’t hold out for much longer, and the both of them knew that. It was just a question of ‘how long until it breaks’, or even worse – ‘how long till it attracts more attention’. Both possibilities were pretty dark, and Nick was seriously considering making a break for it when Ellis leaned over and whispered into his ear.

“Nick, Ah’ve got a plan.”

He whipped his head to the side, leaning as far away from Ellis as he could with the space given. “What is it?” He hissed, straightening up again. “Because if it involves me going out there, you won’t live to see that thing get insi-”

“I ain’t trustin yuh anywhere near mah perfect plan, don’t worry none.” 

“Fuck you.”

Ellis chuckled quietly for a few seconds, but then his expression turned strangely serious. 

“Look…It’s not exactly…I’unno, safe?” An’ we might end up dyin’ a bit, but we could also be gettin’ outta here alive…So win-win!”

“What do I have to do?”

Glancing up, Nick spotted a trace of surprise settled on Ellis’ features. Despite the smirk he let slip onto his face, the feeling was mutual – At least, he hadn’t expected agree with Ellis on anything, never mind follow one of his hare-brained plans. Maybe he was just desperate to get out of there alive. 

“Well…You ain’t gotta do much, ‘cept run when I tell you to. Oh! An’ yuh have t’ check the door. I’m gonna be over here, knockin’ on this wall – an’ maybe, jus’ maybe, it’ll attract all the infected to over here! So I’m thinkin’, they’ll all come runnin’ to this side expectin’ a meal, an’ we’ll be able to make a break for it!” 

“And how the hell do you know there’s an easy way from out there to where you’re knocking?”

“I was lookin’.”

“When we were being chased?”

“When we were bein’ chased.”

Why he’d expected any less, the gambler had no idea. But he’d taken more than his fair share of risks in his life, and the idea of dying at the hands of an Infected didn’t really appeal to him. So he shrugged once, stood up, and nodded. 

“If we get out of this alive, you can kiss me. No payment required.” 

Almost instantly, the effects took place. The pounding faltered as the zombie picked up on the noise, and then stopped completely. A sigh of relief ran through the two of them, and Nick edged towards the door. He still wasn’t completely sure the thing was gone, but after a few moments he reached out and grabbed the handle. 

And then something reached through the door and grabbed him back.

Yelping, the gambler fell back, hitting the wall. He pushed the other man aside, getting to his feet right as a pair of sharp teeth launched for his neck.

“Nick!”

He lunged forward, his fist meeting uncomfortably soft skin, and threw all of his weight into throwing the bastard backwards. He would’ve stumbled forward too, if not for Ellis grabbing him and hauling him back.

“Shit, shit, shit…Did he get yuh?? Fuck, this is all mah faul-“

Nick rolled his eyes and cut him off with a hand over his mouth. “They’re gone.”

“Whut?”

“They’re gone, dumbass. We just need to kill that fucker out there and run like the wind.” He kicked the door open as he spoke. 

Through the opening, the previously crowded hallway was deserted. Nick reached over and grabbed the blood-soaked bat propped against the wall and handed it to Ellis, smirking.

“Think you can handle that?”

Ellis fucked it up, of course. He missed the first time and smashed the bat into a lamp, creating a very loud and very suspicious noise, and they didn’t even bother looking back at the oncoming hoard.

\-- 

They found Coach and Rochelle after twenty minutes of searching, running, and hiding. Thankfully they’d lost most of the original group after they bolted, and a swift bash to the head with a bat from Nick was enough to deter (kill) any others that tried to eat them, but the constant fear of coming across a hoard remained, so the sight of familiar faces was more than welcome. was in the middle of recounting exactly what happened, down to his ‘brilliant genius plan’ and how Nick didn’t do ‘nuthin’ at all’ when he paused. 

“Oh, an’ then Nick said I could do this if we got outta there.”

And just like that, the hick grabbed his dress shirt shirt, tugged him closer, and kissed him. Right on the fucking mouth. Then he pushed him away and carried on with the story, pretending nothing had happened. 

So the conman crossed his arms, lay back on the makeshift bed crafted from pillows and dirty blankets, and did the same.


End file.
